But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
