Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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