that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
