my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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