dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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