I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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