It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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