she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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