It's Friday. Sex?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The air was thick with penises
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
