so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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