all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
