I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
