I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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