Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
