Girls should come with a carfax report
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
