where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
