I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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