I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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