I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
