like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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