This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
