bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
