The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
