If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
