She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
