Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
