I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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