my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize