You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize