well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
