Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize