Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
