You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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