Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
