I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
