I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
