3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
