who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Come see our sink grown plant.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
