how can u be prego again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
