I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
