Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
