I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
