so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
