OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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