did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
