His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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