all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
