remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
