i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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