you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just puked most of my soul out..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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