Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
