Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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