U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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