God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
