you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
