I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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