Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize