Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize