I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize