Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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