Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
