I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
