I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
