I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
