Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
