Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
