I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
