At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
