you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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